The “trauma” list

The list of traumatic events I am sharing with you are not going to contain dates nor specific details. I feel that the details are not important to discuss with anyone at this time, I may share some details down the road, but I need to protect myself and my recovery process. Plus I need to protect any one person or group of people involved, as I have not asked for their permission to use their names nor do I choose to want to.
The list will be in chronological order, but again dates will not be used. I also know that I am opening myself up to judgement, criticism and doubt; which has played a huge role to hindering my recovery process in the past. However, if you are reading this and find it to be fake, false, pathetic, ridiculous, shameful, ignorant, you can’t agree with it or some other form of negativity; do yourself a favor and stop reading my posts and don’t waste your time sending me an email or comment.
This is my story, my experience and my truth; no one can take that away from me. I am not here to convince anyone of MY truth. I am here to hopefully help another human being suffering like me to not feel alone.

 

Deep breath…..holy shit……here it goes:
  1. Father moved out / parents divorced
  2. Abused by narcissistic & alcoholic     mother
  3. Date raped as a teenager
  4. Infant son kidnapped by his father under false motives for 3 months
  5. Stalked for 2 years by an acquaintance through work, convicted, served no jail time
  6. Mother died of cirrhosis from alcoholism
  7. Attacked & strangled by unknown  assailant
  8. Casualty of domestic violence / verbal  & physical
  9. Personal addiction from PTSD relapse
May I never have to add another item to this list. I believe it would be the final straw to break this camels back.
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9 thoughts on “The “trauma” list

  1. Thanks so much for sharing your list. I can relate to most of it. I really admire you for wanting to “tell your story”. It is courageous to do because many of us want to sweep what happened to us under the rug. Put masks on (like in your picture) and pretend we’re all good. I was an isolator because it was easier to be with myself than to put on a show just to be around other people. How exhausting. I also lied to myself saying “ya, that all happened to me and it sucked but I’m over it so big deal.” WRONG! The things that happened to me caused PTSD and anxiety and panic attacks and depression and antisocial behavior, etc, etc, etc… It wasn’t til fairly recently that I realized to “tell” others about my stuff not only helped me but actually allowed other people to feel comfortable enough to tell their stuff. So kudos to you Katy for starting this blog and sharing your shit. You are brave and beautiful and loving and I can’t wait to see how you and others begin healing together!
    JB

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  2. Thank you so much for sharing your list. I relate to many things. The crap that happened to me, particularly childhood (and beyond) left me with PTSD, anxiety, panic, depression, and antisocial behavior, plus… I ultimately became an isolator. When I did go out, I too wore a mask to pretend all was well when I knew darn well it wasn’t. I only recently discovered that telling my own story was like vomiting up the sickness which really made me feel better after. So I commend you for spewing up yours! I think you are courageous and I believe that by helping yourself by sharing, you are also going to allow others the comfort and safety to share themselves. I am grateful to have found your blog and look forward to reading more!

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