Woke up this morning feeling fantastic, all geared up for church (which was remarkable), made it through the church crowd not unscathed but survived; our goal after church was to hit Costco for a couple small items we needed; then we pull into the Costco parking lot…for the love of God WHERE DO THEY ALL COME FROM?
We parked in the very last row, which should have been my cue to GTFO, but we only needed a couple items…”I can do this” I tell myself over and over. About 10 yards into the store I can feel my courage wither away much like the snow outside is currently doing in the sun.
As we are navigating our way through hoards of the clearly lost, the dumbfounded sample gawkers or the middle of the aisle cart stallers…this overwhelming fear, agitation and flight response kicked in. I looked at my husband and told him “we have to leave now”. He knows it’s time to run when I say this to him with the look of panic on my face. He doesn’t ask questions, he doesn’t push me….he knows it’s time to get me to the car for not only my safety but everyone else’s.
Every muscle in my body is tight, my shoulders hurt and before too long my adrenaline is going to come down and I’m going to crash. Damn it! I don’t have time to crash, I don’t want to crash! Today I HATE YOU COSTCO! Why do you allow so many people into your store at once? It’d be great if they had a special day once a month for us dearly demented with fear….call it “Agoraphobia Friday” or “Disability Wednesday”.
Beginning to think it’s time to look into a service dog of sorts with a bright neon vest that clearly states “Stay 10 feet away at all times”, a big intimidating dog with a face that makes people get out of our way.
Reality…not going back to Costco for a very long time.