Stalker Story Temporarily Discontinued

discontinued

I thought I was ready to dive into this, I thought after 17 years and years of therapy I could tell this story. It has unexpectedly opened a door that is causing severe hypervigilance, nightmares, triggers and causing a CPTSD response I wasn’t anticipating.

I’m suspending my story until I can safely tell this story without mental and physical repercussions. I feel unsafe and wish someone would just hold me close and give me a safe feeling of security. My dog was that safe point for me, but since his death 2 weeks ago I’m a hot fucking mess.

I walk the house all night, eat through the night, have nightmares, flashing images of his face and events, migraines and feel tortured. I feel broken and unfixable.

I’ve tried refocusing, staying busy, medications, meditation, safe place comfort measures and it’s just lingering. So this story is on hold until I can safely reopen this can of smelly shit.

Will I ever be free of you John? You piece of dog shit! My soul belongs to God, not you. Feeling defeated.

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3 thoughts on “Stalker Story Temporarily Discontinued

    1. I called my therapist this morning and my sister-in-law who are great. Pretty sure my brain isn’t ready for the processing of it again, as I’ve been down most of the day with migraines and vomiting. It’s all a process and I tried and learned I’m not there just yet to process. It amazes me the body response the body has to emotional trauma.

      Liked by 1 person

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