New adventures are on our horizon!
God never fails us! I know this in my heart, but the struggle between my heart and mind is a difficult one. This became apparent to me more over the past couple of months. I live where the cost of renting or buying a house has gone through the roof over the past 3 years. At the start of this year we began looking for a home to buy, due to many unforesen reasons, it won’t happen here.
It first started when my husband lost his job as a Pastor and had to switch gears and go back into the trades industry. Because of this, we wouldn’t have been approved for a loan because of this change. We knew God had a plan, we just couldn’t see it.
Then I got diagnosed with several autoimmune diseases, which caused some financial distress having to go through so many tests. We knew God had a plan, but we just couldn’t see it.
Then our landlord decided to sell our house and we had to move. Because of this housing crisis our rent doubled and depleted us of our entire savings. We knew God had a plan, we just couldn’t see it.
It quickly became apparent over the past couple of months, we’d never be able to buy a home here in our native state. Born and raised here, but it’s not the home we both grew up in anymore. So we decided to expand our horizons and check out other places, cities and states.
Then recently, for some crazy ass reason that only God knows, Texas has been calling us! TEXAS! A state that I never in my life thought I would ever consider moving to, a state where everything is bigger….like spiders! Including employment opportunities, housing, schools and beauty of the human soul. My husband has a really good friend who lives there and I have 2 childhood friends that would live close to us too. We knew God had a plan, we just couldn’t see it!
The employment opportunity will give my husband the chance to use his trades skill AND pastoral skills together! Seriously…how did that happen? God!
With our savings is depleted and our pockets on empty, that’s not going to stop us, because God has a plan and we are trusting in Him and His plan. We have no one to help us financially with what we need to be safe moving there. We’ve had a couple of amazing people in our lives who we love deeply that have gifted us some cash to help with gas and moving our home in a truck, and the crazy thing is, we didn’t ask for this money. They’re just true gifts from God and real friends who love us unconditionally. Because God has a plan, and we’re starting to see it.
I’ve put up with a lot of undeserved shit from my family over the past few years. Mostly because I choose sobriety, I choose healthy boundaries, I choose no drama, I choose not to be like them. Therefore I have become their sacrificial lamb in so many ways. So finally I am choosing me! I have nothing here to keep me here and I no longer want to be shackled to their poor choices, so I’m going to FLY! We are going to FLY, we are going to spread our wings and fly and be free from doubt, shame, blame, hate and pain.
God gave us this opportunity and has been slowly closing doors to open this one. With the clothes on our backs, the minimal necessities and each other we are saying goodbye. We’re going to have a huge yard sale to put extra cash in our pockets, selling some family heirlooms on eBay and selling my mom’s diamond…but let’s face it; that crap doesn’t make us happy and won’t go with us when we die.
God has a plan and we are trusting in Him to guide us every step of the way.
For we walk by faith, not by sight. 2 Cor 5:7
WAIT! How’s my CPTSD in all of this? It’s firing on all cylinders and it’s kicking my ass, but I trust God, and that’s all I need right now. (Ask me tomorrow though, as my fear & excitement rollercoaster is vasilating)
This Pig Is Going To Fly WITHOUT lipstick!